Possible 'The Longer You Stay'
by vivacarby
Summary: Chapter 6 is up!!!!!!! At last! Was Carter's attempt suceeded, or will County, along with the one who loves him, say a final good bye to John Carter?? (Carby, 8.01 Spoilers)
1. Chapter Uno

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Disclaimer: *gasps*, you mean they're not mine?! What a shock! 

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Medical Stuff: I know absolutely nada. So, if someone around you were to suddenly fall victim to a terrible medical trauma, don't think 'I'll just use this handy, all-knowing fan fic from Tori! That has all the answers!' because it's the exact opposite.

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Archive: I don't care, just as long as you ask first.

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Category: Carby, Possible Spoilers

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Author's notes: After Thursday's Epi (Four Corners), there was a rather scary commercial played (didn't see it? Go to "http://communities.msn.com/EverybodyLovesER/membersspoilers.msnw?action=get_message&mview=&ID_Message=486"  for a play-by-play description), which this is a spin off for. 

This is the first fan fic I've _EVER _written before, got that _EVER_, and I have to hurry and go do my homework, so therefore I didn't edit it. A completely raw, uncut, unedited piece of work (maybe a little more like trash, but oh well). I know it stinks, but you gotta start somewhere. Don't flame me, you've been warned! Anyways, this is a Carby, (in other words, a fan fic supporting the relationship/possible relationship of Carter and Abby). This does contain some spoilers for The ER epi _The Longer You Stay_, (airing 10/4/01 in America) so if you're trying to be spoiler-free (as I have been recently), DON'T read it! Ok, here it is:

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"Gamma, I really don't see why I had to come to this," John commented as he and his Gamma walked down the lengthy hallway of the Carter Family Mansion. "John to tell you the truth", Millicent started, took a brief pause, then went on," You're the only person in this family who isn't so damn boring, and I didn't want to fall asleep during the will reading. Your mother would have my head then!" "You do have a point", he replied, thinking of his mom, and then walked into the stately living room.

All of the Carter family was seated around the room, along with his grandparent's lawyer and a few of their close colleagues. Eleanor and Jack walked up to them.

His mother looked at his casual clothing: khakis and white shirt, with her non-approving look of stone, and looked like she was about to comment when the lawyer spoke up that the reading was about to begin.

It was mainly just details of the company, who would take over what part, boring things like that, but then the lawyer started "To my one relative who is not involved in the business", and Carter's head snapped up. ", John Truman Carter, III, to you I leave 50 million dollars..."

20 minutes later, Carter watched people walk out; all giving him death glares on the way, in a daze. What in the hell would he do with 50 million dollars? He had no use for it. He might only be a resident, but he was making it by pretty well. As soon as everyone had left, he blurted out "Gamma, I can't take the money." "And why on Earth not?" "Because...First of all, I don't need it; I'm doing just fine. And secondly; did you see the looks of nearly certain death everyone was giving me?" "You may not need it now John, but there is your future to think of. And as if you ever cared what they thought of you in the first place. John, this was your Grandfather's wish, and I'm not going to go against them. You'll take the money." "Gamma--", and was interrupted by his pager, "I need to leave, but" "But nothing John. But nothing."

~~County General Hospital~~

Abby searched frantically around the admit desk for the lab that Frank somehow misplaced. She did look up when the doors opened Carter, dresses casually, looking hot as usual, walked in.

Carter; he had turned her tiny little world around last May. What he had said; was it that he just plain didn't like it, or was it possible that he felt that same way...

People have two sections of their brain: the right and left. Abby had two sides: Practical and Real.

Meet Practical; Practical ran her life. Practical told her 'Stay a nurse; med school is risky. You'll screw up as usual Abby; stay a nurse.' Practical advised her: ' Stay with Luka. He's a nice guy. He'll be there for you, and even if he doesn't you can't get hurt: you don't love him. Therefore, no risk.' Practical went with the flow, did the expected.

Deep in the shadows stood Real; Real had never been formally introduced. Real rarely, in fact never, dealt with her or her decisions. Real was her hopes, her dreams, her passions. Real whispered softly 'Abby, you want to be a doctor. You have always wanted to, since you were little. Be a doctor.' Practical told her the opposite, and she went with Practical. Real had told her 'Don't marry him. Yes; you've been in a relationship with Richard for 3 years, Yes; he promises he'll take care of you, make your dream to become a doctor come true. But you don't love him Abby. You say you do; you wish you did, but you don't.' Practical won that battle, as it did all battles. Real, this time in a blunt, much louder, nearly deafening tone had told her this summer: 'Abby face it; You're in love with John Carter. Yeah, Luka's a nice enough guy, but you love John. Go, get your butt out of that safe little hiding place that you're in, the same one you've always been in, and take a chance. Make a bet. Go against the grain'. But one thing you must remember: in the great battle between Real and Practical- Practical always won.

Abby was snapped out of her thoughts when Malucci yelled "Hey Carter!" Carter replied, "Did somebody page me?" Malucci, shrugging, said "No idea... It wasn't me. Dude, are you okay? You look a little freaked out." Carter, shaking his head, said, "No, I'm fine. Who's on?" "Kovac is about to go off, and Weaver just got in; I think she's in the lounge." "Thanks," he said, and walked off. Luka came up, "Ready to go?" Abby could hear Real screaming at her, 'He's the wrong guy! You love John!' while Practical augured, 'No risk means you can't get hurt!' "I'm ready," Abby said, almost immediately regretting the answer the second it left her lips. Why couldn't she let Real win?

~~~

Carter paused for a minute, then walked into the lounge. Dr. Weaver, who had been staring at her cup of coffee as though she were having a staring contest with it, looked up and said "Thank God Carter, you're here. We have a MVA coming in, and I need to go upstairs and talk to K--someone. ETA for the first patient is--now. Have fun," and then she proceeded to rush out of the room. 'This should be one hell of a fun day', Carter thought, hearing the ambulance's agonizing siren wail. He grabbed his stethoscope, and ran to the Ambulance Bay.

~~14 hours later~~

Carter sat in the empty suture room, entrapped in a suffocating tower of charts. The MVA hadn't been too bad. One went to surgery and later died with complications, the kid was fine, and the other was still in surgery. A Mass casualty had come in from a rock concert; only 1 DOA, and 2 traumas, but there were a ton of minors, which meant a ton of charts. That was it. He needed a break. Emerging from the room to find the hospital nearly deserted, he went and asked Randi "Where's everyone?" Randi, looking up from her Cosmopolitan, replied "Greene, Finch, and Benton are on break, Weaver's still upstairs, Malucci I last saw hitting on some blonde with green lipstick in Exam 2." "Thanks, I'm going to go get some papers out of my car, I'll be back in a few seconds, I have my pager." "All righty then," Randi said, returning to her magazine.

Carter walked to his car a little faster than usual. There was just this odd feeling he had, like something was about to happen. He opened the trunk and rummaged around for the papers on the article he was doing. He had a patient, a young boy, who had a rare medical condition that someone had suggested he do a paper on, last May.

May: When he finally had gathered up enough nerve to more or less tell Abby how he felt. Didn't work out quite the way he planned. He had imagined what would happened when he told her; all of the possibilities involving cheesy music, fireworks, and Abby telling him she felt the same way. The result? None of the above. Just a blank stare, and him running off. 

Part of him regretted telling her. He missed her, a lot. She looked so hurt when she found out that his Grandfather died and he didn't say a word to her.

Part of him felt relieved to tell Abby; he didn't have to hear, see, or even think about her and Luka, unless he saw them at work. That's why he had to talk to Dr. Weaver; if he wasn't going to get an attending position, he was going to leave. Simple as that.

There had been this hospital in New York City, on that had wanted him to join for years. They were willing to give him an attending position. He had never been tempted to leave before, but there was nothing keeping him at County, not anymore.

~~ At The El ~~

Abby walked along with Luka, swinging her arms back and forth impatiently. Would he ever drop the subject of them living together? "Abby, are you okay? You seem a little distracted tonight," Luka's thickly accented voice suddenly got her attention. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said, and seeing he was waiting for her to elaborate, continued, "I'm just a little worried about Carter." Luka rolled his eyes, and grunted, "Why?" "Well, because...He didn't even mention his Grandfather dying, and if something that big happened, why didn't he tell me about it? It just bothers me." "Abby," Luka began to somewhat whine," Why are we together?" Not waiting for an answer, he continued, "I feel like you're not my girlfriend, but Carter's! Well I have one thing to say to that: Carter can have you! It's not worth it." Fighting the urge to say 'Actually, that's _two_ things', she ran up to him and said, "What in the hell are you talking about?" "Listen Abby," Luka said, this time to her eardrum's relief, talking in a softer tone," I don't love you; and it's pretty obvious you're in love; but not with me. With Carter. I don't want to go on pretending that I love you, and you love me, and everything's hunky dory, that we both haven't wasted a year in a dead end relationship: because that's not true. I care for you; you're a wonderful person, and I want to still be friends. I just don't think we were meant to be in a relationship. The longer we stay in this relationship, the more we'll end up being hurt; lets end it now. Okay?" Abby paused for a moment. "Okay." Real had finally emerged. It was about time.

~~~~

Carter finally found the papers in the scattered mess in the trunk. He began to walk back. Suddenly he heard a noise; a body clad in dark navy clothes, carrying a semi-automatic rifle, was aiming directly at him. Carter turned to run when he felt a sharp, tearing pain go through his leg's calf. Ignoring it the best he could, he began to run faster than he ever thought he could, because the longer he stayed, the sooner he'd die....

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Okay, there it was. Hope it didn't suck too horribly! Sorry it was very well formatted, my mouse is acting up. It **_might _**be continued, depends on the feedback. Thanks for reading this far!

~Tori


	2. Chapter Dos

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Disclaimer: Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is my very own Carter. PLEASE?

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Author's Note: Here it is! The very short chapter of the story, Still unedited. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time! I was amazed that people actually _liked_ it, so I continued it. Here it is:

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~~ Doc Magoo's ~~

Abby and Luka entered, laughing. Dr. Greene, Benton, Cleo, Malik, Chen, and some blonde woman were seated at a table. Abby whispered to Luka, "Do you know her?" "No," was the response. Malik motioned them over, "Susan; this is Abby and Luka, a nurse and an attending in the ER. Abby and Luka, this is Susan Lewis, she was a doctor here years ago," "Hi," they exchanged greetings while Luka and Abby sat down. Cleo inquired, "Is anything going on with you guys?", noticing that for once they weren't at each other's throats. "Yeah," Abby said, and Luka continued, "We broke up. We make _much_ better friends." Heads nodded, and Mark began, "Actually, Susan worked her when Carter was just a baby med student." Susan, laughing, replied, "You guys never mentioned Carter still worked here! How is he anyways? Probably the best surgical resident here, I bet." Looks were exchanged around the table and Mark said, "It really has been a long time. Carter left surgery, aster chewing out Anspaugh in front of the entire ER. He's an ER resident." "Good," Susan replied, "I always thought he'd be better here than in the OR." Peter, nodding, said, "Girl, he would have been good anywhere." Susan said, "That's true. So, how has he been doing?" This time apprehensive looks were exchanged, and Peter hesitantly began, "A lot of things have happened to him, Sus. I'm not going to say what; it's not my place to, but I'll tell you this: Carter's had a lot of bad things happened to him, and he's had a rough time. Some people might have done better, many wouldn't have. He's going to be alright, and I'm proud of him"

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Carter continued to sprint. Where could he go? Doc Magoo's was close, but there were no security guards, and too many civilians. The hospital made more sense; they had security guards. Finally reaching the Ambulance Bay, he sighed in relief and began to slow down as he saw a security cart. Nearing it, he saw a stranger clad in the same dark colored ensemble, holding a handgun, and aiming it directly at him.

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Cursing himself for slowing down, he jumped over the curb. That's when he felt it: midair, three more bullets sliced into him. Two near the scars on his back, the other in his chest. He fell to the ground, blood pouring from his wounds. 'I have to get up,' he thought, but he couldn't. He could only just lie there.

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Carter opened his eyes; it hadn't been a dream. He was still lying there, in a deep, crimson puddle of blood. Three, maybe four liters he guessed. Suddenly, scenes flashed before his eyes: Bobby being diagnosed, waiting in a hospital room, Bobby beating him up when his marrow didn't match Bobby's, Bobby getting to the point where he couldn't beat him up, the day Bobby died, getting on a plane with his sister to go to boarding school, graduating, secretly filling out the med school application, his first day at the hospital, graduating again, Dennis dying, re-starting as an ER intern, Chase's overdose, getting stabbed, Lucy dying, becoming suicidal but never having the guts to go through with it, becoming addicted, going to rehab, falling in love, being rejected, then a radiant, blinding light. Then nothing but blackness. 


	3. Chapter Tres

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Disclaimer: Neither ER or Fruit Loops belong to me!

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Author's Note: Ok, sorry this took so long! I started to type it up on Wed., but then we actually had things to do during history, so I couldn't do it during my usual time. Thursday was ER, and today and yesterday I've actually had plans (scary, huh? It seems like I've actually begun to have a life lately). So I typed tonight ,after being drug to various obligations all day long, instead of sleeping.

Thursday, was very non-like this. Carter didn't get shot, he tripped over a curb *blushes*. I wasn't the only one who saw it: I swear! At least 4 or 5 people besides me saw it! I guess I was freaking out for no reason. So, a question is: Should I even bother finishing/continue it since it was far from what actually happened?

I would like to thank a few people: Jessi, Miranda, Marianne, Tre, and Alex! Thanks guys! Marianne has some really good original stories here: Here screen name is Riddle_Me_not18. Alex has some astounding ER and Dawson's Creek fics, under Angel _Star, check them out!

Now, the story (sorry so short, once again) :

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Dave whistled happily as he emerged from the ER. He, David Anthony Malucci, had a date with that _hot_ blonde bass player. Not that he was surprised; who could resist him? Dave kept on strolling, when suddenly he saw a body lying in the Ambulance Bay, probably some homeless drunk; until he smelt an overwhelming stench of blood. He turned around and yelled for a gurney. Grabbing one, he rushed to the body. That's when he was able to get a clear look at the face. A face he recognized. It was Carter.

~~~ 4 Hours Later, Doc Magoo's ~~~

Simultaneously, Mark's, Chen's, Peter's, and Cleo's pagers went off. "Did anybody hear an ambulance?" Cleo asked, wondering what the big emergency could be as they exited Magoo's. "No," Luka said, "I'll come with you guys too; I'm on in an hour anyways." "Same here," Abby joined in. So everyone: at this point Susan, Luka, Mark, Abby, Peter, Chen, Malik, and Cleo left Magoo's to go to the ER.

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They entered. The ER was frightfully quiet. They saw Malucci, vomiting and sobbing, with Haleh trying to calm him down. Elizabeth, who had obviously been crying, came out of the elevator. "Lizzie," Mark said, seeing her distraught state, "What's wrong?" "Oh gee Mark, They stopped selling Fruit Loops in the cafeteria! What on earth do you think is wrong?!", Elizabeth, seeing Mark's confused expression, gasped, "Oh good God, you haven't heard." "No...", Mark slowly drew out. Elizabeth turned around, and said softly to Haleh, "Why don't you take Dave out? I don't think he should hear it again." Haleh, nodding said, "Sure Dr. Corday," and led Dave out. Elizabeth sat down, gripping the chair's arm, and began to stutter out, "Dave... he found him out in the ambulance bay: 4 GSWs, bleeding for more than an hour. We took him up to surgery, Romano made me leave as he started to code..." "Who, Lizzie? Who are you talking about who got shot?", Mark said alarmingly. Elizabeth, in barely more than a whisper, uttered, "Carter."

~~~

"WHAT?!", Peter bellowed, but Elizabeth stated, "Peter, don't bother going up: Romano made me leave, there's no way he'll let you up." "Like hell he won't," Peter retorted, and started to run to the elevator when Romano walked in, with tears in his eyes.

~~~

Abby stared at Romano. Romano the bigoted, crude jerk who happened to be the head of the hospital. The Romano whom nobody liked, who had obviously been weeping. 'He can't be dead... Please.' Romano started to speak, but words didn't come out. He cleared his throat, and began to stammer, "The kid's all right. One bullet split his kidney, the other hit his kidney, but we were able to repair it. The other bullet...hit his left artery, and we had a specialist come in. He... went into cardiac arrest; we had to crack open his chest... It took awhile, 25 minutes, but we got him back. He's in the SICU right now." Peter broke the silence, "What happened? Who shot him?" Kerry answered, "We don't know. There was blood by his car, and in the Ambulance Bay. CPD's going to get back to us." Abby, speaking for the first time, inquired, "Can we see him?" Romano, quietly said, "He hasn't woken up yet.

~~~

Peter walked into the hushed, silent SICU room. A nurse, taking vitals and checking the monitors, quietly stepped out of the room. He looked at Carter's chart, avoiding at actually looking at Carter. Why on Earth would somebody want to hurt him? Benton deftly sat down on a chair. He began in a low voice, "Carter, man, I just don't know what to say... I can't believe something this horrible could happen to you _again_. This time, I'm not going to go away; I won't go away like last time and let you do something stupid again. And whoever did this to you: I want to take them down. Whoever did this to you is going to regret the day they messed with Peter Benton's friend."

~~~

The room was utterly silent, other than the faint beeping noise of the monitors. Abby felt so... futile, and completely useless. She stared at Carter's frail form, struggling to survive. He had always been so strong, he had always been there for her, no matter what. She went to the side of his bed, where there was a chair. She grasped his hand, and began to pour out how she felt, it was probably the only time she'd ever have the guts to, "Car- John, I broke up with Luka. He figured me out; for the first time, he did. He figured out I was in love with you. I know what you're thinking: if I loved you then why on Earth didn't I tell you last May. It's just-- I've always listened to advice, been as sensible as I thought I should be. If I told you, then I could have gotten hurt. Or, even worse, I could have hurt you: my relationships are always so screwed up. With Richard, with Luka. I don't want either one of us to get hurt. But, it hurts so much _not_ to have you in my life; I can barely stand it. I love you John." Abby stood up, and began to walk away gradually, but that was when she felt John squeeze her hand.

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So, should I finish it, or abandon it like an empty soda can on the highway (not that I litter...)? 

Thanks for reading! ~Tori


	4. Chapter Cuatro

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Disclaimer: Go ahead: sue me! I'm sure the cardboard box and $4 dollars that are in my name would come in quite handy.

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Author's Note: It still stinks, but since I had a few requests, I figured, 'What the hell? Might as well.' So here it is:

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What had happened? John began to sink back in to reality. He couldn't quite open his eyes; it hurt too much. Someone was holding his hand, and weeping. He could barely make out Abby's voice, "...could have gotten hurt. Or, even worse, I could have hurt you: my relationships are always so screwed up. With Richard, with Luka. I don't want either one of us to get hurt. But, it hurts so much _not_ to have you in my life; I can barely stand it. I love you John." She loved him? He must be hurt a lot worse than he thought, because what he thought he heard couldn't be true, it had to be some dream, a hallucination. He could feel Abby stand up, he had to stop her, and he summoned every ounce of his strength and tried not to let go of her hand.

~~~

Benton sat in the SICU waiting room, along with all of the ER staff, Susan, Lizzie, and Romano. Cleo turned her gaze from everyone else, to his. "Peter... I'm sorry. I know Carter means a lot to you." "Yeah, he does," Peter said, considering, "He's like-- my little brother." Cleo, smiling, squeezed his hand. Suddenly, Romano's pager went off, and a team of nurses ran towards Carter's room, Benton and Romano following. "Peter," Romano warned, "You have to keep your cool... I don't need a sobbing surgeon; I need a strong one." Peter, shooting him a look that would kill most, replied, "Are you suggesting that I'm not a concrete surgeon?" Romano, shaking his head, said, "No, I'm suggesting that you're close to this kid, and it might get pretty intense in there." "I'll be fine." As they came to the door, the nurse came out, reporting, "He's awake." 

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Benton, after convincing Romano to let him treat Carter, re-entered the room. Carter was pale, and was also pointing the tube in his mouth that was aiding him, implying that he wanted it out, _immediately_. "Ok man. Only for a little while though, then it goes back in." Carter nodded, and Benton pressed the sequence of buttons on the ventilator, and said, "On my count; One ... Two ... Three." Carter gagging for a moment, replied in a choking, pained voice, "Thank you." Recalling that those were Lucy's last words, Benton replied rather hurriedly, "No problem." Then, changing the subject and going on to a dreaded, but necessary part, he began to check to see whether or not Carter was paralyzed. Grabbing the instrument, he said, "Ok Carter, tell me when you feel this, Okay?" Carter nodded, and waited.

~~~

Peter clutching the tool, poked it into Carter's flesh. "Ouch, I felt _that_," was Carter's slightly pained, mostly relieved reply. "All right man, now before the police come, who did this to you?"

~~~

'Crap,' Carter thought; he couldn't tell Dr. Benton who they were, he couldn't tell anyone. No matter what. Quickly he lied, "I don't know, I never saw them." Dr. Benton, looking skeptical, said, "Okay man. You just go back to sleep now, okay?" "Okay," and as Carter watched Dr. Benton's retreating figure, he added, "Thanks Dr. Benton." Dr. Benton responded, "Get some sleep Carter," and departed to the hallway. 

~~~

Peter left the room; Why didn't Carter tell him? It was obvious he was lying, he could just tell. Pondering this, Benton nearly plowed into Abby, huddled in the corridor, "Is he okay?", she questioned. "Yeah," Benton said after a long pause, "He's fine; has all feeling and function." Abby, shifting uncomfortably, added, "And mentally?" Peter paused. He wanted to lie; it was obvious from the look in Abby's eyes that she felt more for Carter than just friendship, Peter had never noticed it before; he could be kind of unconscious and ignorant when it came to that area. It had also been obvious that Carter wasn't 100% okay; which was what Benton wanted to tell Abby and himself for that matter. Finally a rather pathetic response was heard, "I can't tell." 

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Ok, there it was. I, personally, don't think this should be continued. Should I continue it, or should I abandon it?

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If I do continue it, what should I put in it? Ideas are useful.

So, unless there are at LEAST 30 reviews for this story by..... *thinks* .... Thursday, I won't continue it; it's completely up to y'all. 

Thanks again!

~Tori


	5. Chapter Cinco

**Disclaimer: **I'll let you in on a little secret, * looks around and whispers * they're mine! I traded them for 3 magical beans! Just kidding ER producers. They're yours. Please don't sue me... I don't have an open court date until 2031. 

**Spoilers: **None outside of Four Corners

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Archive: Please email me first at theblondeone0129@hotmail.com . 

**Author's Notes: **It's here...Finally. Sorry it took so long. My Grandma's had some health problems, so all I've been doing is school, homework, and hanging around hospitals. I know it's REALLY short, but I wanted to leave it at somewhat of a cliffhanger. Well, anyways, here it is: 

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Carter's head sunk into the flat pillow. After nearly an hour of people shuffling in and out of his room, nurses checking up on him, police questioning him, and friends seeing him, he was exhausted. The police had asked him the standard questions; Did you recognize them? Who was it? Can you give us a description? 

He wanted to tell them; prevent this from happening again, but whom was he kidding? Telling the proper authorities wouldn't stop them; it would only encourage them to strive harder for the goal: killing him. 

As he saw it, there was only one way to stop them. One way and one way only. Any other way could be predicted. 

It was time to stop this. He wouldn't let them mess his life up. He was tired of living in fear. He looked at the thick needle of his IV. Carefully, he took the tape that held it close to his arm and covered it to the finger call button, that way when he slipped to an unconscious state it wouldn't go off. He needed time for this; it was his only friend at the time. He disconnected the IV, and slipped the bulky needle out of the fold of his arm. Angling the needle precisely, he watched it as it plummeted deep in the primary vein in his wrist. Ignoring the throbbing slivers of intense pain, he sliced it vertically up and down, creating a cascading crimson waterfall gushing from his wrist. 

'This is it,' he reflected. He wouldn't let them take away his life. He had finally gotten to the part when he wasn't scared. He wouldn't let them do this to him. 'Sorry Mom,' he thought as he felt his life slipping rapidly away from him, 'You'll just have to lose this time." 

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

Well, what do you think? Should I continue/abandon it like it deserves? Tell me what you think.

~Tori


	6. Chapter Seis!

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Disclaimer: *sings* All I want for Christmas is the rights to ER, the rights to ER, the riIIggGhHTs to ER! *glass shatters* well, you get the point...

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Rating: PG-13

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Category: Carby my dear! (Note that my name is aljc0129...)

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Credit and Thanks: Alex, Marianne, Jessi, Amber, and all my Carby friends! You're the best!

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Summary: What happens when an obsessed fan takes a promo scene a bit too seriously? Read on, and find out!

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Spoilers: Nope. Just up until 8.01: Four Corners.

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Authors Notes: Hey everyone; I'm baAAcCCk!!!!!!!! With an incredibly short chapter, but oh well; at LEAST I wrote. _Really _sorry about the lacks of updates, but we've been having some major family emergencies lately; My Grandma's health was looking extremely bad for awhile; Her kidneys were failing, which was a wholde new problem, her doctor's a quack, and... Well, she's out of the woods now, and it looks good so, phew! This is a long author's note, isn't it? Well, If you're reading this far, congratulations! I thank you! My *_big_* concern is to be posted here: **_Should I cease this work of fanfiction, or continue it?? _**I barely got any reviews for the last chapter, I think only 4 or 5 (which to whom I thank everyone!), so it comes to mind that I shouldn't continue it. Well, I'll leave you to read my work of... *coughs* art. 

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"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance." 

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Harrison Ford, quoted by Garry Jenkins in **'Harrison Ford: Imperfect Hero'**

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Irony never ceases to amaze me. 

There was this song, a couple of years ago, that was pretty popular. I forgot whom it was by. Ana.... Morsel, maybe? I'm not sure. Anyways, it talked about Irony. Something like '_a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break_' and something else about an old man having his birthday, winning the lottery, and then dying the next day. Well, I have a couple of lines to add to it: the mother who gave you life trying to take it away; and being born into wealth, and almost dying because of it. 

Don't get me wrong; Death and I are pretty good friends. I've been over to her place a couple of times; she's been over to mine. There are times when she wants me, and times when I want her. I remember Abby talking one time about her mom, and how 'this is the dance they do.' Well, this is the dance Death and I do. Sometimes it's slow dancing; full of wanting and promise, and the other times it's the rapidly-paced tango with death leading; wondering whether or not to take me back to her place _permanently _this time. 

Also somewhat ironic that my mom insisted on dance lessons when I was little.

God, I miss Abby. It's been bad enough with me opening my mouth and "proclaiming" my feelings last May, but I haven't seen her, or any friends, for a long time. 

Overall, I'm kind of gracious for that. I mean, what would I say? What on earth _could _I say? 

Nothing. Better to keep silent. 

~~~

"_Today I begin to understand what love must be...When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence_."

- Goncourt

To put it simply; she missed him. And she had thought last summer seemed liked an eternity... 3 1/2 weeks without seeing him, talking to him, or even hearing rumors about him. No one did. 

To put it minimally; she felt incomplete. Like a major part of her was missing, mainly around her heart. She felt hollow. 

To put it in the most minimal of simple ways; she felt his absence. The absence of those deep, imploring mahogany eyes that read her like a book. The absence of his smile; the type of smile that just light his entire face up. The absence of him; which penetrated deep into her soul, making her feel even more broken.

"Abby? Abby? ABBY?!," a sudden jolt broke Abby's train of thought. Ignoring Haleh's weird look, and trying her best to recover, she replied smoothly, "Yes? Do you need something?" Haleh, her eyes penetrating through Abby's shield of protective emotional cover; which she had worn all her life, until she met John; shook her head and said, "MVA. 1 trauma, 1 minor. ETA 7 minutes." Abby replied brainlessly, "Okay," and went to go get her stunning trauma gown and elegant gloves on. Haleh smiled. The girl had it bad. But, for that matter, the _boy_ had it bad too. If only they'd open their eyes and realize it...

~~~

Carter walked quietly up to the discharge desk. It was amazing what wonders physical therapy did for him. He still had leg braces and crutches to aid him, but it would only be a matter of time. Singing his signature on the dotted line by the bold "X", he turned around to leave. 

~~~ 

Abby guided the gurney with to the elevators. Dr. Corday was taking the 37 year old female to the OR to operate on the injured spleen. She heard the elevator give its customary bell chime as the doors opened. Grabbing the necessary supplies, she looked up just in time to see a retreating male figure. Seeing his height and brown hair, she started to walk after him. But then Dr. Corday's voice called, "Ready transport," and she went back to the elevator. Just missing the departing individual, one she could have sworn she recognized.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End. Or will it be? **You **decide! I have a secret in my head, and if the #s of reviews/feedback fall terribly below it, I'll stop.

BTW, I'm in the middle of making a Carby site. I won't tell you anymore, but if you want: be intrigued!

Thanks for reading; Love you all!

~Tori


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